That is what you tell yourself when the screaming starts again. All kids get mad. They cry. They yell. They stomp their little feet on the rug. This is totally normal. Young kids are just learning to handle big feelings that pop up out of nowhere. Sometimes they are just hungry (we all know how grumpy an empty stomach makes us). Sometimes they need a good nap.
But what if the anger never stops?
What if your child yells every single day, breaking toys and leaving you feeling totally lost? What if they stay mad all the time, even when the sun is shining and nothing is wrong at all?
Parenting a very angry child is so hard. You feel tired. You walk on eggshells. If this sounds like your exact life right now, your child might have DMDD. This is a medical name for a big mood problem. Learning about it gives you power. It helps your family finally find peace.
What Is DMDD?
DMDD stands for Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder. It is a very long name. Doctors use it for kids who have a huge problem with anger. It is not just a normal fit.
Kids with DMDD are mad almost all day long. Their anger grows so fast. They get upset over tiny things that should not matter. Let us pretend a child asks for a blue cup. You hand them a red cup. A child with DMDD might scream for a whole hour just about the cup color. They cannot calm down, the anger takes over their whole body.
This name helps parents find the right doctor. It tells you your child is not just being bad. Their brain just has a hard time with very big feelings.
Signs of DMDD to Watch For
Doctors look for clear clues before they say a child has DMDD. You can look for these same clues right in your own home.
- Very big fights: The yelling is super loud. The child might hit people or break things in the living room.
- Fights happen a lot: These huge fits happen three or more times every single week.
- Always acting mad: Even between fights, the child is grumpy. They look angry almost every day. Teachers see it. Friends see it.
- Age limits: The anger starts before the child turns ten. Doctors only use this name for kids between six and eighteen years old.
- Lasts a long time: The child acts this way for a whole year. They do not get a long break from the mad feelings.
- Happens everywhere: The child is very mad at home. They are also very mad at school.
How DMDD Is Different from Normal Tantrums
How do you know if it is a normal fit or a big problem? Look at the clock.
Normal fits are short. A young child gets mad because they want a toy at the store. Once they get the toy or leave the store, they are happy again. They smile. They play. With DMDD, the child does not get happy again. They stay mad.
Anger is just how they feel all day long. Also, older kids should not throw huge fits. A two year old crying on the floor is normal. A ten year old doing that every week is not.
How Big Anger Affects the Whole Family
Living with a mad child changes the whole house.
Brothers and sisters feel scared. They hide in their rooms. They try very hard not to wake the sleeping bear. Parents feel alone. You wake up feeling tired before your feet even touch the floor. You wonder what will set off the yelling today.
You might stop going to the store. You stop seeing friends. You worry your child will have a loud fit in front of other people. This is a very sad and lonely feeling.
Please know you are not alone. Many families deal with this same exact problem. Give yourself some grace. There is hope. You can learn ways to make your home calm again.
What Causes This Big Anger?
People often ask why this happens. It is not because you are a bad parent. It is not because you did something wrong. Some kids are just born with a brain that has a very hard time with strong feelings.
Think of their brain like a fast car with no brakes. It just goes too fast. When they feel a little bit mad, it turns into a giant storm in just a few seconds. Giving this storm a name takes away the blame. It lets you focus on fixing the problem.
How to Help Your Child at Home
You can do things at home to help your child right now. It takes time. But these simple steps can make a big difference for everyone.
- Keep your own voice quiet. Do not yell back. Yelling just makes the fire bigger. Take a deep breath and talk in a soft, slow voice.
- Write down the fits. Keep a little notebook. Write down what happens right before your child gets mad so you can find out what upsets them.
- Say good job. Notice when your child does something right. If they ask for help instead of screaming, tell them you are very proud.
- Make a safe calm spot. Put a soft blanket and books in a quiet corner. Tell your child to go there when they start to feel mad.
- Teach feeling words. Kids need words to say how they feel. Help them say out loud, “I am mad.” This helps them use words instead of hitting.
When to Talk to a Doctor
You do not have to fix this all by yourself.
If the anger makes it hard for your child to learn at school, you need help. If the anger makes your home sad, it is time to call a doctor. A doctor can look close to see what is going on. Sometimes anger hides other problems like worry or deep sadness. The doctor can find the true reason.
How Pure Psychiatry and Wellness Center Can Help
We know it hurts to see your child so mad. At Pure Psychiatry and Wellness Center, we want to help. We offer kind mental health care for your child. The best part is you can stay right at home.
We use video visits on the computer or phone. This is called telehealth. You do not have to force an angry child to sit in a car. You do not have to sit in a crowded waiting room. We talk to you online. We listen to your story. We find out exactly why your child is so upset.
We provide full psychiatric checks to see what is going on. We can also help with medicine if your child needs it to calm their busy brain. We build a special care plan just for your family.
We help families in many places across the country. Our telehealth services are open in:
- Texas
- Ohio
- Maryland
- Washington
- New Mexico
Getting help should be easy. You can book a visit on our website very easily. Let our caring team help your child learn to smile and enjoy life again.
FAQs
Q. Is my child just being bad if they have these fits?
No. It is not about being “bad.” Kids with these big feelings have a brain that finds it hard to handle anger. It is a medical issue, not a choice.
Q. What is a video visit like?
It is very easy. We talk to you through a computer or phone. You stay in your own house. You do not have to drive anywhere.